Friday, September 21, 2012

The Builds of Athletes: Thunder Thighs and Chicken Legs

Hey guys, long time no see! I'm still alive, but soccer is in full swing with one week left. And yes, tomorrow I have two games and I should be sleeping so this will be semi-short.

Soccer Ladies- These girls are the girls, pretty, smart, and spend twenty minutes jumping into skinnies every morning.
Pros: Rocking abs. You think you have a six pack? No. You don't.
Cons: Have you seen these legs? I might be a two in the waist but a six in the thighs. These thighs... Don't complain about thunder thighs. And calves. Man. And most of us are a little on the flat chested side, but hey, when I chest the ball there's no risk for breast cancer. Joking.

Soccer Boys. These guys, I swear. They're all soft-core druggies, either super skinny and tall or shorter and fat.
Pros: They run fast. And they're somewhat strong.
Cons: Snap. Those bones are like chicken bones. Anyone could push past them, guaranteed that they run faster.

Volleyball- Now this is a sport I wish I had done as a kid.
Pros: Majority of them are tall and skinny and equally proportioned legs, something I would love to have.
Cons: They're mostly all hoes and have drama problems. Oh wait, that sounds like the softball team. Hmmm, I wonder if they train part-season for softball.

Dancers- I'm so jealous of dancers. They're so graceful.
Pros: Uh hello? Have you heard the ideal is a dancer's legs? They have the perfect balance between muscle and leaness, something I would kill for.
Cons: They're all really short, even compared to the soccer team and the tallest girl on our team is like 5'11". And they remind me a little of a mob, you date one, you date the whole team.

Football- Hahaha dressed up soccer players.
Pros: Our quarterback is so gorgeous, it's crazy. And we've talked! Eep! Okay, sorry for fangirling. Ummm, he looks sooo beautiful?
Cons: We suck. No matter how long they practice, they almost always lose. Last year, we lost our homecoming. Homecoming is supposed to be easy! Ughh. And most of the guys are stupid players.

Tennis- Four words. Asians with shin splints.

Basketball-Hmmm. I dreamed of being a basketball player, but gave up. I can shoot a pretty wicked lay-up, if I do say so myself.
Pros: Mr. Gorgeous plays basketball too. And this one guy I used to like... Anyways, they're really good. And the coach used to be my old gym teacher's daughter who is also my favorite math teacher. Yay. And the girls are really good too, and they're nice and fairly considerate.
Cons: they're pretty notorious for their drinking. The motto is don't get caught. Not don't do it, but don't get caught.

Cross-country/Track- I can't believe I stuck with both for three years.
Pros: Large lungs. Oh yeah, that'a hot. Haha but runners have nice physique.
Cons: Shin splints are a pain in the ass. And puking up DQ is really gross, or just puking in general. The boys have a tendency to do this.

Okay well I need my sleep or else I'll play like poop tomorrow. Night y'all!

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